Have you ever held a dream or a vision that you longed to bring to fruition? If you didn’t pursue it, do you understand why you didn’t? Being a dreamer and visionary myself, I’ve done some serious thinking about the nature of a dream-builder mindset – what does it take, and who do we need to be, to bring our dreams into reality? What do people who are able to make their dreams become welcome have in common? I prefer to say ‘make dreams welcome,’ instead of ‘make dreams happen,’ because it has been my experience that dreams often die young when dreamers rely on force and control in an attempt to make dreams happen. Sometimes I learn the hard way, but I have grown to see that it’s all about energetics – when we energetically align ourself in a vibrational match-point with our dreams, we welcome them into our reality. I will explore this by sharing some key characteristics that I have come to believe most dream-builders (as opposed to idle dreamers) share.
Living a life they truly want is the only option.
Dream-builders are so committed to their dreams becoming a reality that they don’t fearfully cling to a ‘backup plan.’ They don’t take seriously thoughts such as, “If it doesn’t work, I’ll just go get a job.” They don’t operate from a ‘safety-net’ mentality. And they view all of life as an opportunity for self-expression and self-exploration.
“All power originates from this one truth: you may choose to create something other than what already exists.” -Julie Ann Turner
They deeply believe in their visions.
They expect that what they want is going to come into being, as if it were an inner knowing. They believe they deserve to do what they love, and to serve others using their gifts. The secret is that they still expect the best even when they don’t have all the answers as to how it’s going to happen. Close to their heart, they tenaciously ‘hold the torch’ for their dream, even in the face of all manner of challenges. They don’t give up, they simply adjust their course when necessary.
This is a spontaneous vision-painting I made with my children when they were young.
They feel compelled to serve.
The well-being of others is foremost in their hearts, and they passionately wish to contribute to making the world a better place for everyone.
Dream-builders actively cultivate a positive mindset.
They understand that an inspired life is a daily practice, and that we choose our beliefs, our thoughts, our perspectives, and our responses. Dream-builders know that they must take full responsibility for their own positive mindset, and they learn not to waste time blaming others for undesirable circumstances. They consciously choose thoughts and beliefs that inspire and carry them toward their visions. They believe in a benevolent, supportive universe. They commit to ‘re-setting’ their thoughts when they have strayed into unhelpful mental territory.
“The Universe laughs with abundance. It is not so concerned with making every single opportunity work. It always has more in the pipeline. Losing an ‘opportunity’ is no big deal. There are infinite opportunities.” -Tama Kieves
They see life as a magical game, a supreme adventure full of worthwhile risks.
Choosing this perspective on life opens up space for playfulness, creativity and fun instead of lack and limitation.
Dream-builders come to know their own sufficiency.
This cultivates a quality of resilience, problem-solving abilities, and a confidence that helps dream-builders take some necessary risks to get to the next desired place. There is joy in developing and holding their unique visions, but also a trusting and playful sense of flexibility and non-attachment to specific material outcomes. They delight in synchronicity and ‘signs,’ and trust enough to ‘follow the breadcrumbs.’
Dream-builders appreciate the magical power of the present moment.
While holding a vision for a beautiful future, they know that the real show takes place in the present moment, and they find love, joy, relaxation, and the opportunity to practice presence, connection, and positive action in the moment. They understand that daily personal grounding practices are essential to maintaining the energetic frequency that will welcome their visions.
“The day when everything changes is the day when we realize that we’re not doing our work to get somewhere, as much as to be somewhere right now. We’re no longer desperate to land. We’re just crazy for the magic carpet ride……The quality of your life is not the amount of things you get done. Quality depends on how much ‘beingness’ you flood into each experience.” -Tama Kieves
They create their own rules, and work the hours that work for them.
Dream-builders actively resist acquiescing to society’s norms. They make decisions from a place of what they really want, what they would love, and what makes them feel alive, instead of from what they think they can have. This gives them the freedom to design. They prefer a ‘free-agent’ lifestyle, and they pro-actively live by design rather than by default.
They daydream.
Dream-builders take time for solitude, and strongly value mindfulness. They get out of their own heads and allow themselves to lose track of time. They like to let go of structure, often, freeing them to ‘go with the flow.’
Dream-builders are observant!
They are constantly studying human nature, asking the big questions, and listening sincerely for answers and truth.
They aren’t just dreamers: they act on their desires.
Instead of getting stuck in the visioning stage, they get themselves into inspired action, no matter what it takes. Whether it’s quitting a job, getting out of a relationship that holds them back, investing in themselves or moving to a new location, they summon the courage to do it. They do this by listening to, and acting upon, their intuition. They operate from a ‘Ready – FIRE! – Aim’ mindset. They trust that adjustments can be made along the way. They trust that the dots will connect in hindsight, and that the heart holds the truth that needs to be heeded, even if it doesn’t always appear completely logical at the outset. They have a low need to know the HOW before committing to a wholehearted YES for what they would love. They define ‘being responsible’ as honoring their heart’s highest wisdom.
They see challenges as opportunities, and turn obstacles around.
Most people interpret their fears as obstacles, and tend to run away from them. People who know and live their purpose happily have developed the capacity to see fear as a sign of what they really need to lean into, and they learn to work with the fear rather than letting it stop them. They focus on framing the challenge in a positive and even exciting or inspiring way. Dream-builders welcome an opportunity for personal growth, as part of the grand adventure of life. They are not paralyzed by fear of failure – they view it as useful feedback when results are not what they desired.
“Your results in life are primarily determined by what you focus on, not necessarily the situations you find yourself in.” Tony Robbins
“When something falls through, something else emerges. A Loving Life Force just keeps giving and giving and giving…..The independent, creative mind will choose to benefit from everything.” -Tama Kieves
Dream-builders learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
They don’t get stuck in needing to have all the answers, getting things perfectly lined up, or trying to gain comfort by controlling everything. Instead, they’re aware that they are not going to see the next step until they make the decision to move forward despite the discomfort and the not-knowing. They see clearly that there is discomfort whether you stay stuck where you are, or whether you risk change - so why not go for it, what have you really got to lose? They know that there is more discomfort, ultimately, in not living their truth.
“How else are you ever gonna learn to shine unless you roll with the rocks, let them press and grind? How else are you ever gonna learn to be smooth without these hard times to polish
you?” -from a song by ‘The Ragbirds’
“You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money, when you’re sittin’ at the table, they’ll be time enough for countin’, when the dealin’s done…..Every hand’s a winner, and every hand’s a loser…” -from ‘The Gambler,’ a song by Kenny Rogers
Dream-builders operate from a compass-setting rather than a map.
They understand that an inspired life cannot be all mapped out ahead of time. It must be discovered day by day. Dream-builders keep moving in the right direction, listening moment by moment and day by day for inspiration and where the energy is, and trusting what is unfolding. They know their compass-setting, and actively review and recommit to it on a regular basis. They seek out new experiences, and new challenges.
They live and act from a vibrational frequency of inspiration and non-attachment.
They understand the true principles of the Law of Attraction – by keeping their compass-setting clear and yet general enough, they give the universe ample opportunity to meet them and play with them in their visions. Dream-builders hold the torch, act from inspiration, and let go of attachment to outcome. They can do this because they believe that a benevolent universe has their back.
This hung in my kitchen for a decade after my divorce.
Dream-builders speak their truth.
They are able to speak it because they feel compelled to make a conscious effort to connect to their truest desires, their inner voice, and their deepest faith. This connection is typically fostered through meditation, journaling, nature-immersion, spiritual seeking, being mentored by others further along on the path, and being surrounded by like-minded people. Dream-builders listen to their heart, lead with their heart, and stop worrying about what other people will think. They cultivate faith in their intuition, and their convictions are stronger than any concern about other people’s judgments.
They don’t get stuck in fear or guilt when asking for what they want.
Because they’re so connected to their passions, dream-builders are not afraid to ask for what they want. In fact, they understand that their success depends on others, so asking for what they want is part of the deal. They love to share their dreams and enroll others in their visions. They often even want the dream for others as much or more than they want it for themselves. They also realize that the dream is bigger than themselves.
“If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in your life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.”
-Tony Robbins
Dream-builders have mentors and role models.
Having mentors increases their self-awareness. They clearly understand that each time they’re getting ready to pursue a dream, all their limitations are going to come up to the surface so that they can let go of them. Having role models and mentors helps them identify where they’re stuck or have a blind-spot, so that they can continuously open up their possibilities and bring their results into positive alignment.
They surround themselves with beauty, and they see beauty where others overlook it.
Dream-builders love beauty and know they deserve to enjoy it every day! Beauty is inspirational. Beauty is nurturing. Beauty is healthful. Beauty is natural. Beauty can happen anywhere.
Dream-builders ‘connect the dots,’ and see possibilities where others don't.
This happens because dream-builders are focused on desired results rather than on current limiting circumstances. They see right past what is, into what can be. Or, they simply see the beauty in what is, rather than the limitations.
Dream-builders follow their true passions, unapologetically.
“Wholehearted living: you either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness.” -Brene Brown, ‘Rising Strong’
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman
I have learned and grown so much on my own dream-building journey. I have exalted in a great many very high highs, and barely survived some very low lows. I have experienced a period of dangerous burn-out following huge creativity and service. I am still learning to live gracefully with the powerful visionary in me. Many years ago I invented a term that has been very helpful to me: ‘Tranquil Passion,’ or ‘Passionate Tranquility.’ It is a reminder to myself that I can continue to celebrate my inner passionate visionary, without ‘flying too close to the sun’ and exhausting myself.
An intensely creative period of about 25 years of my life included co-designing and living in intentional community, homeschooling my three children, adopting a raw vegan fruitarian diet and lifestyle and attending many festivals and workshops around the country and beyond, water-fasting for a month in Costa Rica, teaching and presenting at a prominent week-long raw vegan festival for 10 years, moving to the country, sharing our home with many others, building a 30’ yurt on our county land which provided a magical and beloved space for all kinds of fun community events, living in a tiny off-grid yurt for many months, leading annual health retreats in Michigan, Florida, and Costa Rica for 15 years….and then moving to Florida, where I reside now. Mine has been an incredibly beautiful, expressive, whole-hearted, adventurous dream-building journey of loving service. I am deeply blessed and rewarded to have welcomed so many of my dreams into reality!
I have gained so much wisdom on this path, simply by daring to step out and try things on, and by listening and adjusting as I go. I treasure what I have learned about myself along the way, about my gifts and about my true lifestyle preferences. I have learned that I truly love quite a slow and relaxed pace to life, in a warm sunny climate, with lots and lots of space to enjoy nature, close relationships, and to just BE. I am exploring new, simpler ways to continue my passion for serving others and making the world a better place, now from a new ‘sweet spot’ of earned personal wisdom about how I roll best.
A few favorite dream-builder’s books:
Inspired & Unstoppable, by Tama Kieves
Goal-Free Living, by Stephen M. Shapiro
Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach